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Mercury-MSG Bonanza
(serves 3)

1.1/4 cupmercury
2.1 pintMSG
3.2/3 cupmonolium
4.1 cupbrown sugar
5.1 lb.sugar


Mercury-MSG Bonanza
Mercury-MSG bonanza is sure to please the toughest customer with its wonderful taste and wonderful aftertaste. The Chinese normally eat mercury-MSG bonanza with chopsticks. You should purchase monolium in bulk to save time. Your guests will be dying for more.

First, preheat the oven to 310° and grease a 20x14" baking tin.
Start by laying the mercury in the baking tin. (this step must be done slowly to avoid undercooking!)
Mix in MSG with a whisk like there's no tomorrow. (careful, it is a powerful aphrodisiac!)
Quickly, sprinkle with monolium.
Sprinkle with brown sugar like you're on a cooking show.
Mix in sugar thoroughly with a spatula.
Cook 40 minutes or until dark brown.

While you're waiting, it's worth pointing out that most monolium is irradiated to make it safe to eat.

Mercury-MSG bonanza is best served hot, with wine that comes in a box. It's getting hot in here!

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